Caring for my mother taught me to recognize my privilege
The first time I saw a patient all by himself in the infusion room, I didn’t notice him. No, that’s not what happened. On that…
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Why I sometimes hide my caregiver status from others
At my last school reunion, someone asked me, “What do you do?” “I am a writer and a columnist,” I said. At the coffee…
Caring for someone with a rare cancer involves unique challenges
Last year, while I was attending a fundraiser for breast cancer, I watched several hundred people adorned in pink shirts cheering with joy and excitement…
Navigating conflicting medical advice when doctors don’t agree
Dr. A is insisting that we should start treating my mother with a new myeloma medication right away. Dr. B is asking us to wait…
I wasn’t prepared for all the admin work involved in caregiving
When you become a caregiver, nobody warns you that you’ve also become: A Google Alert in human form, always staying up to date on…
The isolation and frustration that can come with a rare cancer
During my mom’s last support group meeting, the facilitator asked all the participants to introduce themselves and identify their cancer by name. One after the…
When you’re a caregiver, it’s OK to need a helping hand
“You are very strong.” People say this as if it’s a compliment. Sometimes when I hear it, I smile back at them and mutter, “Thank…
Feeling stuck in the repetitive routine of caregiving
When I wake up in the morning, I do the same things in the same order: Examine the pillbox. Send a text to my mum…
What do we do with the taboo topic of caregiver anger?
I have quite a lot of friends who are caregivers like me. Every day and night, they provide care, attention, and company to their patients,…
The art of distraction: Why sometimes we avoid ‘cancer talk’
There is an unspoken rule that seems to apply to all cancer caregivers. It goes something like this: You should always be serious, present, and…
